A Choice Based on Value

I found myself in the uncomfortable situation of looking for a new job at the age of fifty four. The details are not important to this article but when you are faced with a cloudy future it can be stressful. Anyone that has worked their entire life and find themselves with the prospect of being unemployed, your instincts kick you in gear and you immediately start networking for a new position. But at this stage of your career what do you need to consider?

The first thing I did was a self-assessment.  What am I good at? What do I like to do? If I could be anything what would I be? What do my peers consider my greatest skills? How long will my wife tolerate me being out of work? Do I need to get new skills? Do I need formal education? Should I start my own business? If so what will it be? So many questions to consider as I was making this important life decision.

The bottom line for me was the ability to add value in the position I would eventually land or create. When you have been in the workforce for more than 30 years, and you have had the opportunity to hold a variety of roles, and have had some success at what you did, the decision on how to move forward is not simple. It can be conflicting when you have a number of things you would like to do, can do, can afford to do. It seems like many roles would be fitting and satisfying but how to make the right choice?

In my life the best fit has always been the ability to make a difference at an organization, and have a role that if I did it well would help the organization to be better. I am also driven to help others succeed. The ultimate role for me is to be able to help others become better at what they do. My value proposition looked like this.

Is the organization one that shares my values? If yes move forward. Is the role one that aligns with my strengths? If yes move forward. Does this role allow me to help others and make a difference? If yes move forward. Will this role compensate me in a way that allows me to have balance in my personal finance, therefore life? If yes take the position.

Everything we do in life has a component of value. Every decision is a value based decision. When we choose a new career, buy a new product or service, choose a college with our kids, value is the driver. And value can be different with each of us. We all have certain things we value and more often than not these are different between individuals. We need to remember that respecting other people’s value proposition can serve us well in life and our careers.

If you sell things for a living, manage a business or a team, or you are the financial guru for the organization, delivering value to the people you serve or manage drives the success you will have. If you are at a crossroads in your career or helping a friend through that crossroad, what we/they value is a critical component of making a good decision in life and career.

I ended up taking a position with an organization that holds the values I do, and the opportunity to deliver value through what I deliver for the organization. It fits my lifestyle at this stage of my career and I it provides great value to me personally.

So I hope the next time you are making a decision or helping someone else make a decision you think about the value proposition, for you, your customer, your family, and most important your life. I hope this added some value to your life and I would love to hear your thoughts?

She will always be Coach Terre!

Coach Terre announced her “retirement” from swimming. I quote retirement because Terre is much too young to actually retire. She is taking this opportunity in her life to spend more time with her other family. They deserve it! But as a member of her swimming family I wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts on Coach Terre.

My family has known Coach Terre for nearly 10 years. We first met when Taylor and Emily decided they were going to make swimming their sport. It was a decision my wife and I treasure because of all of the wonderful families we have met through swimming, and of course, getting to know Coach Terre (and her family).

I have always said we will all leave a legacy, what it is, is up to us. The life we lead is a reflection of our values. Coach Terre has left a piece of her legacy and has instilled in her path many values. Anyone that has had the honor of being coached by her knows her value system; honesty & integrity, hard work, team work, and being the best individual you can be.

Coaching kids is a calling, and when done well can shape the character of that kid for a lifetime. The hundreds of kids (maybe thousands) that have graduated from a swimming program that Coach Terre has lead are better people from having had the opportunity to swim for her. As parents we know the value of a great coach, and I suspect that every parent that has had a kid in Coach Terre’s program will agree that their child is better for it.

That is not to say that every parent agreed with everything Coach Terre has done, but they respect what she has done for their kids. As parents we often have a protective instinct that can stand in the way of important life lessons - but having had Coach Terre as a mentor our kids have experienced the value and importance of setting goals, being prompt, respectful, following through, suffering consequences, and celebrating the successful achievement of a goal. Coach Terre showed no favoritism but I know she had favorites. And being a favorite did not mean being the fastest swimmer scoring the most points. Her favorites were the kids that were unique, dedicated, and respectful.

You see Coach Terre has principles that have taken her far in her life and will take our kids far as well. She knows the power of consistency, honesty, and communication. She never wavered on telling the truth to a parent or a swimmer. She shared honest assessments of our kids and always knew that every kid could be better - but not every kid was going to be an Olympian. What you figured out quickly with Coach Terre was she was invested in your kid’s success. Whatever that success was for that particular swimmer, she would communicate it with the parent and set the proper expectations for their success in the pool and out of the pool. As parents there has been no better partner for our kid’s upbringing.

The swimming community will miss Coach Terre’s absolute dedication to a sport that is a step child (except during the Olympics when Michael Phelps or Missy Franklin is in the pool) to other major sports. But I will say with absolute confidence that swimming is the best sport a kid could dedicate him or herself to for true preparation for a successful life!

Our kids will take from Coach Terre valuable lessons that expand far beyond the pool. They will take with them a commitment to be their best at whatever they choose to do - and to be respectful of others. Coach Terre will leave swimming with a legacy far beyond scoreboards and records. Her legacy will expand exponentially over the years from the dedicated kids that have had the honor of her leadership. They will be her legacy.

You see, as a coach she will have changed the world through one of her kids. The lessons those kids have learned are the foundational building blocks of a successful life. As the parent of two of her swimmers I can testify to the value of having had her as a coach. As a parent, I can only say thank you, you will be missed. I am so grateful my kids had the opportunity to have had you as a coach.

You will always be Coach Terre to us…

Do You Miss Your Mother?

Today is the second anniversary of my Mom’s death. If you are like me the emptiness is deep. My heart aches on days like this because all I want to do is call her to make everything OK. Moms are wonderful at making everything OK.

As my daughter Emily graduated High School this week I thought to myself how proud she would be. She would have basked in the conversation as only someone that is truly caring and empathetic can. She would have told Emily how proud she was and would have spoken to my wife as if she was her own daughter. Telling her how proud she should be having raised a wonderful daughter. She would have asked how everyone was doing and avoided anything about herself. She truly was the definition of selfless.

She would have relished the thought of her grandson Taylor going off to Africa to help the people there. She would have been so proud of his kind heart and his goal of going to medical school. She would have told me how much he was like me but I would know better that he will be a much greater person than I could ever be.

She would have assured me that even though I just lost my job, it would be no time before I secured another. She would have had more confidence in me than I do in myself. I would have used that energy to sustain my emotions and to keep a positive attitude. She would be my leaning post.

My wife is a wonderful mother to our children and I hope they realize how important Mom is. Our Moms are irreplaceable in times of need and in times of celebration. They are our cheerleaders that have an unconditional love for us that no matter how or whether they can express it, it is there.

So if you miss your mother like I do - I share your sorrow. If you are fortunate enough to still have your mother, let her know how much you care. Call her and just tell her how much it means to have her in your corner. Because when she is no longer there for a conversation you will miss her deeply.

Thank you mom for being such a supportive role model and sacrificing all you did for me.  It is because you shared your love that I am who I am today...

A Tribute to Man’s Best Friend and Ours; Shadow

Last night our family companion and one of man’s best friends, Shadow, left this world. He blessed our lives for nearly 14 years and our hearts are a little hollow today with our loss. He was a “gift” in more ways than one. He was a Christmas gift to Taylor and Emily the year 2000. Although he was born in October, he officially became our keeper in December. Born a Chihuahua, he was small in stature but that little body was filled to capacity with heart. He was a shining example of the canine creed to always take care of your adopted family. He did it with every ounce of his soul.

We were blessed to be able to hold him quietly in our arms, snuggled in a blanket, thanking him for his love, and telling him how much he was loved and would be missed. He lived a healthy life and only of very late did he show the signs that he was preparing to leave us with a lifetime of memories. He was the oldest of our three dogs, and although it might seem that having two other wonderful dogs to fill the void, we might be spared some sorrow, that assumption would be wrong. His absence and memory will always have a special place in our hearts and family.

As all dog lovers know, it is often seen that we humans are being compassionate by opening our homes to our canine friends, when in fact it is we humans that benefit from their unconditional love and caring during their short time with us. They get us into routines that are wonderful distractions from the world around us. They are always ready to share a wag of the tale, jump into a lap, and remind us of how important relationships are to nurture. For just a moment we are part of their world which is so much less chaotic because it simply revolves around sharing affections.

I hope I was worthy of Shadow’s kindness and love. I tried to be as good a friend to him as he was to me. We exchanged our goodbyes last night which were extremely hard but are cherished compared to the alternative of not being able to say goodbye. As my heart and our collective family heart aches today it is also fuller for being part of Shadow’s family.

To know the love of a dog is to know pure love. They depend on you for their every need but what they are willing to give for that kindness is priceless. Every human heart should know that love. It is worth every ounce of sorrow and tears their loss brings. He will be missed.