Thursday, April 23, 2015

Do you have “Alternate Online Personality” syndrome?


Recently I watched in amazement the number of people in shopping areas, restaurants, and public places totally engaged with their cell phone or as they say “smart” phone. The phone may be smart but as a society are we heading in a “smart” direction?

It used to be that people learned how to handle being “social” by reading body language and assessing the situation around them and acting accordingly. For example, if you found yourself standing alone for a few minutes in a public area, you had to learn how to behave by either engaging in a conversation with a stranger or standing there confidently knowing that being alone was not a sign of being a nerd, having no friends, or all of the other thoughts that embarrass you when standing alone. It was a “Right of passage” as a teenager to learn how to handle these awkward moments in life. It was the precursor to handling business functions, parties, and weddings as we grew older.

This social lesson is no longer taking place as far as I observed since these awkward moments have been replaced with interaction between the individual and their technology device. No longer does a teenager or adult have to worry about being confronted with an awkward moment, all they have to do is look down on their technology and shazammm we are safe! We become part of the “norm” as every empty moment is filled with people looking into or typing a note into their technology gadget.

I don’t know if it will be the end of our society as we know it, but this new way of social engagement will reduce the skill it takes to be social. Being social on the social network circuit is different than being social in person. Having the ability to socialize in person will become more difficult if we “practice” the art of communication less by avoiding the opportunities through using our technology devices. Does this make sense?

I love to engage in personal settings much more than social technology platforms. I find social networks so impersonal in a personal way. Watching the behavior on Facebook and Twitter at first glance seems social but all it really is people posting their current status and others responding if they so choose. How is that social? It is definitely a form of engagement but in order to have a true social interaction you need to see the look in their eye, body language, and have the opportunity to show your true interest and empathy that only a personal engagement offers. Otherwise the interaction is prone to a syndrome I call “Alternate Online Personality” syndrome. This syndrome is prevalent in technical social interactions where people become more aggressive or rude because they do not have to look the person in the eye when they respond.

As contact center professionals we have been dealing with this for a long time over the phone. Many customer interactions are more aggressive because the person on the other end of the phone knows they don’t have to deal with the customer service representative face to face. If they did, the interaction would most likely be different. Phone and offshore customer service has given people the excuse to be less respectful and more unreasonable in their expectations of the customer service experience. If every customer interaction was face to face, customer service would be different from both the expectation and delivery.

As human beings we need to interact in person to maintain a level of civility or we could end up with a very aggressive and disconnected society which could impact the way we behave as humans in the long run. I know that millions and millions of people that would not have access to the world without technology might disagree with my concerns. But as a society develops and assesses the impacts of new technology we must consider what the overall impacts to our society are, and whether or not they are worth it.

There are many good things about technology and social networking but there are disturbing trends that are surfacing. We know some of those trends in the contact center and have had to live with rude customers on the phone, often with minimal justification for the rudeness. The question is, do we want this to be the way we interact throughout all of society? Will rude and aggressive be the “normal” of the future? By focusing so much of our social interaction online, will we lose our ability to interact in person effectively, leading to a more disconnected society overall?

I believe we need to balance our online and in-person personalities by staying in practice. The next time you find yourself in an awkward social setting instead of reaching for your “smart” phone, reach for a word or two to share with the person next to you. Practice, practice, practice…

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